Kids have a hard time knowing what they want, and parents often have an even harder time understanding what their children want. The article by the anonymous author from parenting.com talks about ways of dealing with kids whose feelings conflict with their needs, yet they can’t express either. Kids tend to have an immense amount of contradictory impulses and often say the exact opposite of what they mean. The feelings kids portray can be the result of not yet learning another feeling that is appropriate to the situation. Some confusions kids might have include, needing to sleep, but not wanting to stop playing, being hungry, but not wanting to eat, not joining in on the fun, even though they really want to, and being mean to a beloved friend. The best thing for parents to do is to talk to their kids about their feelings. The author gives the example of a mom talking to her child and naming her emotions so she can recognize them in the future. “You’re mad that you had to leave your friends house. You wish you could play as long as you wanted.” Parents can only practice. Lots of practice will help the adult and the child understand the child’s feelings and needs. Children seem to be “masters of self-deception and denial” and usually, all they need is a little help.

I know as a child, and even sometimes now I’ve had problems identifying what I want or need. The author from parenting.com give lots of great examples and testimonials and stories that I’m sure would help any parent. Communication is key when it comes to raising kids, and helping them discern what they are really feeling helps them develop.